I think I now know the answer to every question my over-analytitive mind proposes:

And it's you.

You, Andrew. Sebastian Andrew John Mandell.

You.

Maybe it really was meant to be. Sebastian and Ariel are both from The Tempest. Can't that count for something? Is that what sealed our fate, the poetry of a dead romantic?

Long-live us skeptics, for we are too unreal even to die.