i can still dream. there's no harm in that. no harm in pretending i might have potential for a chance.

i'd go back to bed but i'm afraid of just lying there and then nothing happens. maybe i'll just stay up and enjoy my dellusions.

i lie entirely too much.

nexttime i drag you to see the sunrise, you have to actually watch it. not really. but i'd like to share that with you.

god i'm so tired i could cry. i miss andrew even though i thought i'd convinced myself otherwise. i'm beginning to miss caleb too.

and i miss fiona.

i want to wander the streets all night or just stay outside and then curl up in some foreign bed somewhere at dawn and sleep to sun streaming through the window.

i lie. i'm too tired for wandering. really what i'd like to do is have another magic circle and lay in the field and then sleep in the farmhouse at dawn after watching another sunrise.

i'm scared i might not get her all to myself this time. almost certian. people will be trying to hog me and if she even wants to spend time with me i'm sure laura will want to you know, spend time with her. this jealousy kills me. i don't know. same old paranoid dellusions.

by the way i'm hearing things and i ke4ep seeing random flashes out of the corner of my eyes.