I'm suddenly reminiscing upon AWA a lot. I just miss the feelings, that hotel, which was amazing, and being so far from Athens. and, I liked how, it felt like a new beginning. a chance for new. new everything, and there didn't have to be any promises of forevers, either, it was just a weekend thing.

I realise why so often I feel bored and pessimistic. I'm restless, and I'm afraid I know too much and that everyone's fake, or something, I dont know, I had it better before, I had it worded better. I seek pleasure and stimulation and thrills. and I haven't had any of these in so long. and I need to feel like I can relate to people, and all too often I find myself skeptic of others and our possibly established connections. Do they really think this way? Is this just product of a time when they were pretending to be someone else, or trying to project a certian image? so, I long for conversation with those whose opinions I've put on such a pedstal, I have no choice but to believe them. and I seek that satisfaction. oh and the pleasure thing. I haven't had a really amazing weekend in awhile really.

I hate it when I forget epiphanies because I'm now focusing upon something else. oh well. Later, maybe.