this afternoon, i got to play pirates, sit in a field and eat cookies, play in the sand, and ride a glittery pony with some of my closest friends. and after they left, i just decided to lay down in the sun, i closed my eyes, and felt pretty damn near infinite.

i feel like a lot of the bad parts of this year are finally escaping me. all of my fights with danny, all of the periods of depersonalisation, a bit of my self loathing, my unrequited love for -----, and later our abrupt, but mutual silence...

maybe i didn't love her. maybe winter just wasn't my season.

if things keep going like this, fuck, i'll always be smiling.

oh by the way, 1 month and 1 day SI free.