being sick: the pros
-can be in a shitty mood and have a good excuse
-allowed to eat nothing but popsicles without being bothered
-get to send people on errands for you
-all the drugs you want!
-have an excuse not to do things
-and such

being sick: the cons indeed
-well...you're sick
-you feel like shit
-you can't sleep
-you don't want to risk infecting anyone else
-you don't feel like going out with friends, even if you wanted to
-you may indeed be rather depressed
-you crave odd foods
-and suddenly have an urge to watch mary kate and ashley movies because they have happy endings
-your throat hurts like a motherfucker
-you may want to sing or talk a lot or something, but you can't
-etc

overall, no me gusta. i guess being sick is good for giving you a valid excuse to not participate in things or do things differently. and, it gives me some distraction not to think about the things that are really bothering me. the fact that i feel so alone and depressed, that she's not talking to me, that i hate my appearance and if i were one of the pretty girls, he might like me, or that if i was interesting and impulsive and daring, and not so openly insecure; that i'm failing most of my classes, that i wish i were the prefered person amongst my friends to hang out with or something, idunno, there's a lot.

but at least, it's not completely consuming my thoughts. instead, my mind is bent upon what i should ask my mom to get for me at cvs(unfortunately, i'm not andrew, i can't go through being sick or anything without meds), what i could get away with eating today without wanting to puke, what movies to rent and such. how to get the most about a sick vacation of sorts this weekend and feel as seperate from the rest of the world and my problems as possible. because, unfortunately, the roots of all of them are deep down inside of me, and can't be solved in one day, or even one year.

i wish there was an empty table at lunch so i could sit completely alone. i think i'll just start going to the library again, though. damn do i want first lunch. and i need to stop this thing i do.

but for now, i'll focus on relevant issues.