fast fast fast

I feel like I'm on speed and god I wish I was. everything feels like it's working out even if it isn't. I just need speed (metaphorically) and control and I'll be invincible.

I get to see Fiona in a few minutes' time and we'll figure things out, since I need to know.

I got to see Jessie, Anna, Simon, and some other really great kids today. Made some new emotional connections.

Some security guard gave me a quarter to buy a quarter machine ring randomly.

Michael Stansky gave me a free cookie and invited us to a party. I'm probably not going but whatever.

Jessie and Laura are gonna crash here later and they might bring me booze. They better, I gave them money to buy me some hard shit if they can.

I also got to see Lilli lastnight, and go to a party I didn't hate and drink some.

I also found new drug connections (Ryan and Townie Ethan).

And tomorrow, after the adventures of tonight, I have no idea what I'll do, probably catch up on homework.

but right now I want to keep the real world as far away as possible.

I barely even miss Andrew, running on pure adrenaline.

I just want a car, smokes, control, and more self esteem, sex drugs and rock n roll oh you know. Then I will be complete. I just need to do some work first but not quite tonight.

Tonight I need to forget,forget,forget.

oh and I may be Townie Ethan's Xanax connection which is fine if he can get me some good shit.

As bad as it sounds, I barely even miss Jackie and Steven. Sometimes Laura is hard to deal with, but she's here, she's actually here. Jackie's just....I know what I mean even if I can't word it.