your life."

when asked, life or death, we can't choose. we are another group, seperated by self hatred and fear. we don't want to die, but we don't want to live, either. so we turn to the only grey area we can see: escape. self destruction of all sorts, drugs, sex, impulses, anything that provides a nice rush and reality seperation for awhile. you'll never understand it unless you're highly intuitive or you've been there yourself. sometimes you're so far gone you don't remember what the other side was like. i, myself, have become less perceptive, and i believe my perception is the only one. surely everyone must be like this? only some hide it better or don't fully understand it? i still don't know those answers. i only know that i can't put myself into the shoes of any "normal" person anymore. i can't even imagine what they must feel like, if they exist at all.

the sickest part? sometimes i think i chose this life willingly. it's not something i'd recommend, but it is one way to live.

"yeah, he's an alright boy, once you get past the borderline personality disorder. he is, i swear he is."

"yeah, i believe it."

it takes one to know one...