my heart's going really really fucking crazy.

watching spun makes me feel so energised and excited and speedy.

omfg
coke this weekend.

fuck, man.

I kind of like arguing with Caity about my well being or lack thereof. it kind of makes me feel better, letting my anger out, knowing I'm hated.

it's sad that I regret everything I say when I'm hyper/excited or fucked up on alcohol or ambien or xanax or whatever. those are the times when I feel most like myself and most real and most alive.

I don't want to regret feeling alive anymore. fuck, and you!