sometimes i feel tingles going through my spine, i feel itches and i wonder if there are spiders crawling all over me, under my skin, laying their eggs and preparing to bite. delaying it as long as possible until i would just welcome it with such a relief, "thank fucking god, it's finally over, i don't have to worry anymore"

maybe this is a medical problem. maybe science is a myth. maybe you'd understand how afraid i am of the world if you realised how easy it is for something to become tainted.

or maybe you'd just say i over analyze and i'd agree but still wonder, it's so much more than that, isn't it?

fuck you life-ers, becaues i can't "live" just like you all can.