So, today, I accidentally quoted Andrew. I was trying to do my best impersonation of him, and I think I said exactly to Jacob "Hey, Jacob, how mad at me would you be if I did something very sexually inappropriate to Melanie right now?"
and Jacob started laughing
and I looked really confused
and he said that Andrew's said that WORD FOR WORD before. I had no idea. so I accidentally quoted him.

I guess I know him pretty well.

God I fucking miss him. I love him. I think I really do. My crush on him or whatever was really deep, and isn't about to go away, even if I'm distracted right now.

The very moment I see him again I know my heartrate will go all crazy and I'll fall for him harder. And then he'll leave again and I'll feel even emptier and I'll keep hoping and I'll keep hurting and wondering and that's the way it'll be.

I still sort of like Tim but, just because he's here, stable, attractive, affectionate, and smart.

I've been making so many new friends lately and it almost feels weird. I don't think they mean anyhting to me. They're just there. I don't have that deep like caring for very many people. And it feels weird having so many. I feel obligated to keep up with them.

And I'm a little worried about Journalism, but that's a given. Otherwise, in my classes, I think I'm pretty good.

Oh. And Wayne. I think part of me definitely really love(d/s) that boy. The moment I see him again I'll fall even harder.

But it's Andrew the most.

I think I'll go take a nap and dream and plan. Maybe I'll be seeing Laura tonight. I don't know if it'll make me feel anything. I know that sounds awful. But, just, I can't feel much for anybody but Tim and Andrew right now. And others, maybe. Maybe it's just because I'm thinking about them. I don't know.

I guess I just want this semester to be over so everything can clear up. Or whatnot. There's so many untied shoelaces but they'll tie themselves up(I'll tie them) soon.