I want psychedelic movie esque summer nights. I hate feeling out of control. I hate feeling watched and judged. I feel bored. I'm depressed. I want to go somewhere completely new. I want to get something done but I have all these ideas that I just can't carry out. I still miss you. I miss the wintertime. I just like the feelings better. Everything feels real because like I said, it's always cold, and any warmth or happiness just means that much more. Everything's sharp and clear and not filled with that summer haze. You feel more alive, for whatever reasons.

I can't wait for Winter. I wish it would snow. I wish I didn't feel bored and depressed.'

I suddenly feel like I've been dreaming these dreams so long that I'm bored with them, and even if I got them, I'd be so bored of their idea that reality wouldn't even suffice.

Your memory is fading from me. I have to work twice as hard to see your face and I don't get pleasure shivers from thinking of you anymore.

All I need in my life is Appearance, Control, and Distraction. My apperance, obviously, how I present myself, how I look, adds to my happiness. Control, no worries, etc. Distraction, drugs, fast times, etc etc. projects. yeah.